What Are We Worth? (w/ murmuration video)

Hi - this might be the longest call-and response ever created - Its so long it might be more accurately defined as CULT INDOCTRINATION. —— I say regular type, audience says bold type

Hi - we are now going to read what might be the longest call-and response ever created - Its so long it is probably more accurately defined as CULT INDOCTRINATION. You all have a copy - on your chair - I will read the regular type and you read the Bold Face. If you doze off, I will casually but loudly mention your name. Because I believe in Audience Participation By Any Means Necessary - All right let’s start

I want us all to fly like skylarks in their fantastic murmurations

I want us all to swim like sardines in ecstatic swirls

Moving in harmony with each other

Leaderless, Intuitive, Self-organizing, Collective Intelligence

What am I worth? What is my value?

What are we worth? What is our value?

Am I just a dollar sign? is my value the sum of my assets?

Is everyone only a dollar amount? The total of their portfolio?

Am I worthless if I am poor?

Are we a negative if we are in debt?

Is Elon Musk more valuable than the combined population of 80% of the earth?

Is any person more valuable or less valuable than any other person?

The skylarks are all equal in their joyful synchronicity

The sardines are egalitarian in their peaceful cohesion

Why do humans fly against each other? I want to live in a flock of skylarks

I want to be in a sardine tornado

Why is there competition instead of collaboration?

Why must there be leaders, followers, winners, losers, rich and poor?

I want everyone to thrive together

in the sky the earth the ocean

There is an economy that looks just like the lovely coordination of skylarks and sardines

What is that Economy called?

Gift Economy is an option to capitalism - Imagine waking up everyday to give your community exactly what you want to give

I’d be happy to do that I really would

Imagine your community providing you with whatever you needed for FREE

Food? Housing? Health? Education?

Imagine working motivated by compassion, not forced by desperation or lured by greed.

Every day would be like Christmas? Giving gifts and getting gifts?

Yes Yes Yes Imagine a world where “the economy” is just…

people taking care of each other?

Our lives would be governed by empathy.

I’d like to be a very good person.

Gift Economy is generated by service to others.

where can I find this?

Gift economy is far away and everywhere

Be specific give me directions

Gift economy operates in Samoa, Fiji, and the Cook Islands.

Those are very expensive airline tickets.

Gift economy existed in Native American tribes like the Haida, the Salish, the Tlingit.

Are they still alive?

Gratitude was given to individuals who gave the most to others. Hoarding was the worst offense.

Billionaires are hoarders. Wealth must be circulated.

We need to share.

Yes, We need to share.

We need to be active in our communities like the swirling birds and fish

Never colliding with each other, because we’re sensitive

Capitalism says we never have enough.

We gotta buy junk all the time to keep the markets going.

Capitalism turns human beings into sharks

We’re supposed to eat little fish

Capitalism, they tell us, is the law of the jungle

We’re supposed to be crocodiles, gobbling the weak

Community Potlucks are a display of gift economy.

Bring a dish to share with everyone

I want to eat a slice of Marjorie’s pie

I want to eat three of Joanna’s muffins

There are no homeless people in a gift economy

Vacant buildings are given to those who need a home

Gift Economy is everyone being kind to each other

Skylarks fly together in ever-changing cooperation

Sardines swirl in collective unison.

What we do everyday can make change happen

What we do everyday

Can make change happen

What am I worth?

We are worth what we give to others.

Are we just a dollar sign?

We are not just a dollar sign.

Are we worthless if we are poor?

We are valuable when we help people feel empathy. This makes them human.

Is any person more valuable or less valuable than any other person?

No they are not.

I want us all to fly like skylarks in their murmurations

I want us all to swim like sardines in their ecstatic swirls

Moving in harmony with each other

Leaderless, Intuitive, Self-organizing, Collective Intelligence

—————————————————————————————————-

Natasha, You Thought I Was Gay

Natasha, you thought I was gay because I acted so swishy around your boyfriend Todd, the ex-Marine, but — Todd’s just so butch, I can’t help it

Natasha, you thought I was gay so you trusted me, Natasha, coming to my house late at night, drinking wine by my fireplace, flirting & tickling & cuddling & pinching my nipples because you think I’m gay & its safe & Todd thinks its cool: his girlfriend has a best friend who’s gay - it’s so San Francisco

so what do I do? Natasha, I go along with it, I fake it, I make up a lot of boyfriends because I don’t want to ruin things, Natasha, I’m obsessed with your translucent skin & your baby pout lips — & then — late one night I say:

“Natasha, I am so very very gay, we both know that - but… I’m… very oddly attracted to you - what does this mean?”

Natasha - you’re happy & curious & extremely aggressive, you kiss me & caress me & you unzip my pants & I whisper: “I’m a virgin with a woman; I don’t know what to do”

& you’re gentle with me, Natasha, I act terrified anyway, I’m so dramatic, I almost convince myself, I say: “an erection! good grief, with a girl? I don’t know who I am anymore”

Natasha, you strip for the challenge, your curves in the firelight - I pretend that your breasts are confusing, I toss them like a salad & I say: “your butt’s a nice bubble like Cher in 1972”

Natasha, my hands shake like a novice near your vagina, you tell me you like anal sex, I consider this carefully then I stutter, “thanks, that’s kind, but this other one, it’s new, its different, let’s give it a go”

Natasha, you tell me you’ve never felt sexier, I ask politely if I can go down on you next & you say: ”isn’t it frightening?” & I say, “I feel brave today!”

I lick you then & your nectar excites me, I break out of my role, carried away with the enthusiasm of my true identity - you push me away & you ask: “where did you learn that?”

I decide to end the farce, I tear off my mask & reveal the hetero & now, Natasha, you’re irate! You say seducing straight boys is dull, my only appeal is that you thought I was queer

you accuse me of molestation in the 3rd degree - penetration with a fake ID

I ruined it, damn! I was a complicated challenge but now I’m just a straight horny white guy!

nothing ruins romance like the boring truth

——

Rosemary, you’re the only…

Rosemary, you’re the only kind waitress in this radical cooperative socially-woke vegan restaurant — all the other waitresses despise me because I’m the dishwasher

Rosemary, only you smile at me — all the other waitresses treat me like I’m salmonella — I thought I could scrub crud with pride here, but I was wrong — I’m in the grease pit of this phony utopia

Rosemary, you bring me half-eaten Ho Chi Minh hash browns to devour — you sneak me egalitarian waffles & Emma Goldman goulash — after work you tell me you wanna buy me a drink - so I follow you like a stray dog — you order Smirnoff because you want to support Soviets, like us

Rosemary, the longer I drink the longer your legs look — your eyes are as blue as the dish-washing detergent — your teeth are much whiter than the stained coffee cups

Rosemary — what’s this? you’re telling me your husband is a Republican? — he’s been impotent with you since the last election? — now he’s having an affair with Sheena - his motivational coach?

Rosemary, you follow me now to my trailer by the train tracks — my bed is as frigid as a Siberian gulag — Rosemary, you beg me. “please talk like a Marxist” — I say, “Okay! I’m a Sandinista, Zapatista, Red Brigader — I shot the Czar, Che es mi amigo, Lumumba died in my arms”

Rosemary, your breast starts heaving like the collapse of the capitalist system — you embrace me passionately — United, like the Workers of the World - we tear off our clothes — you want me inside you, but — oh no! — I’m as limp as your Republican husband

Rosemary, you cry: “what do you need? I’ll do anything?” & I say, “Rosemary, I need a fantasy too — will you pretend to be my wealthy Grandmother? — tell me you’re giving me stocks, bonds & mutual funds? — tell me I’m going to inherit some money?”

Rosemary, you hiss, “that’s disgusting, that’s — bourgeoisie” & I say, “I know, but it will definitely work”

Rosemary, what an odd couple we were — I was your Trotsky, you were my Trust Fund — I promised the destruction of what you promised me

until we shuddered with our own revolution

——

The Love-Sick Hyena

She’s not like other hyenas… There’s something special about her… she’s unique!

The first time I saw her she was crouched on a rock far away… There she was, festering scabs were seductively arranged on her dusky rump, with a sneer splitting open her horrible piglike face…

What a beauty! I said to myself. Then, I heard her laugh! A frenzied, demonic giggle that made my hair bristle and my organs extrude…

“I really must have her!” I decided… but then, she vanished, she disappeared into a gully…

When would I see her again? I whined, I moped, I could not hunt, I could not play with the pups. I loitered all day in my burrow, too depressed to even scratch at my fleas.

The next day I roamed the canyons and riverbeds looking for her, searching, searching,,, finally I found her footprints! Four stubby toes squished into the mud!

I scampered upstream. There she was, there she was… She was enjoying a private feminine moment rolling around in some cheetah feces…

I crouched around behind a rock, I spied on her. I was stiff with excitement, totally extruded to my full fifteen centimeters.

Suddenly though, my pleasure was interrupted by a hideous sight - her mother! A gigantic mangy beast with scarred lactating breasts dragging upon the ground… her mother! This violent matriarch attacked me! I ran away, of course, like any other peace-loving hyena… with my little tail shivering between my legs.

The third time I saw her was just last night… I was perched on a mountaintop… I was howling my sorrow at the distant stars.. then I noticed vultures circling in the moonlight, I looked underneath the rancid scavengers…

There she was! My hyena sweetie! Enjoying a midnight snack with her idiot family!

I don’t know what they were eating — it was one of those delicious things that has been dead so long it is no longer recognizable… There were still some tasty chunks left though: stale marrow, putrid organs…

I sat there and watched as my lovely one ripped into the decayed mess… I was wondering, “Now… what does she like to eat?”

First she nibbled o the tail - and my heart sank, because… the tail is my favorite part! We could never hunt together, we would fight all the time! There is only one tail and I have to have it!

I sobbed softly, a filthy tear dripped down my muzzle…

Suddenly, though.. I saw my pretty beast get bored with the tail. She spit it out, she threw it over to her little brother! Oh, wonderful world! There is still hope for us!

Heart pounding, I awaited her next move… she climbed on top of the beast.. she ripped into the skin! She devoured a few large chunks of the dry hide…

My heart stopped… frozen in sadness… Because, because… I like skin! I kill for skin! And there she is… eating skin! I hate her! We’re totally incompatible! I would never, ever marry a skin-eater! Hyena are not big on sharing!

But then.. Oh! A miracle! My darling hyena… she went over to a little tiny hyena pup, she began to regurgitate up all the skin! All of it! Oh! Please forgive me, my dearest! I didn’t know it was only for him! Please forgive me!

Then… my hyena sweetie - she climbed back on top of the revolting cadaver, she cracked open a few ribs, she reached her head down into the chest cavity, and she pulled out a long slimy blubbery chunk of lung tissue!

Oh! Lungs are disgusting! Yech! I wouldn’t eat lung for all the dead fawns in Africa! But.. there she was! My lovely one… she’s a lung-gobbler!

She wolfed down chunk after chunk after chuck of magenta lung! Plus tonsils and bronchial tubes!

Then she crawled into that hole in the ribcage… I could hear her slurping and burping inside.. she ate her way into one side of the torso and back out the other side.

When she emerged she was gorged and contented, chunks of lung were slathered on her neck and her face. her eyes gleamed with happiness, and I - I had tears of joy, because she’s a lung-eater!

We’re perfect soulmates! We’ll never fight, ever!

We should be hunting together… and killing together… and mating together, in a dark, fetid burrow!

I opened up my throat then, and I let out the short stupid howl of the love-sick hyena… I certainly hope she hears me!

——

Julia, I Can Explain

Julia, just because I hid in the oleander bushes behind your house for 9 hours last night — that doesn’t mean I’m a stalker —

I was just curious, Julia — I just wanted to know why my room mate’s motorbike was parked in your driveway

sure, Julia, I do occasionally walk past your house several dozen times a day but that’s just because I think I left something important at your house — I don’t remember what it was but I think if I walk by often enough I might remember

Julia, when I saw my room mate’s stupid little Vespa in your driveway I thought he must be talking to you about how I’m still available, so —

I’m sorry I snuck up and watched you two eating dinner together — I’m sorry I threw a rock that shattered the window Julia, you were laughing with my room mate I thought you needed help getting back to the topic

Julia, when you invited my room mate into your bedroom I assumed he was gonna help you locate the lost item that I left there I heard you flopping around the bedroom looking for a long long time with the lights off

Julia, I can explain the accident that happened to my room mate’s trashy scooter — I decided I needed a weapon while I hid in the oleander bushes in case I got attacked by a weirdo — that’s why I borrowed a rake from your garage — I tested it on a large dark shape in the driveway that turned out to be surprisingly, my room mate’s phony Italian loser-bike — the rake worked well but I needed to be sure — okay — yeah — maybe I did smash the Vespa repeatedly with violent force for 15 minutes

Julia, when the gas tank punctured I accidentally dropped my cigarette — I’m sorry the exploding motorbike caught your house on fire I’m sorry you had to run outside naked I’m sorry I grabbed you but I wasn’t “humping on you” — I was just trying to put out any flames that might possibly be on your skin

Julia, tell the police my room mate found the important item I left in your house the expensive romantic ultra-thin condom I never got to use tell the judge he did not deliver it back to me in a good Christian manner tell the judge he put it evilly on his own tell the jury my room mate’s charred body is his legitimate punishment for theft

Julia, I’m still available if you wanna get back together I chalked your name on the 26 parallel and 33 vertical bars of my cell Julia — I caught a sparrow in the prison yard — I sewed its wings on my pillow when the sparrow flutters I say, “trust me, Julia — we belong together”

—-

Karen, You Feel…

Karen, you feel the pain of this world but I am in pain because you won’t let me feel you

the Tutsis are killing the Hutus again and I can’t even kiss you because you’re so depressed I start licking your feet but there’s a PBS special on Bosnia & I can’t advance past your kneecaps I slip inside you but I get tossed out with an NPR update on genocide in Timor

Karen, you bring the suffering world into our bedroom: veal calves bleat in the closet endangered frogs hide in my sock drawer political refugees dangle from the ceiling

Karen, I want to take you to a romantic movie but you give all our money to a panhandler outside there’s just enough cash to rent a video but you won’t watch it because it’s starring Bruce Willis & he’s a Republican

Kaen, you refuse to eat anything but Ben & Jerry’s ice cream but when you find out their Rainforest Crunch is a fraud you stop eating entirely your breasts disappear & I argue “food can’t be bad, Emma Goldman was chubby”

Karen, you cut off your beautiful hair to avoid the shampoo that makes rabbits sneeze you demolish my car with a sledgehammer because because Toyota hacked up a porpoise you batter my watch into tiny pieces because Switzerland got rich off the savings of Holocaust Jews

Karen, you got the whole world weeping in our bedroom: Kurds on the bookshelf Gypsies under the rug Tibetans on my pillow & a rhinoceros in the hallway looking for his horn

Karen, you’re supposed to be my lover but your libido is smaller than Mother Theresa’s I know there are horrible atrocities but does our sex life have to be one of them?

what if the jungle refused to drink water to express solidarity with the desert? what if hawks refused to fly to support the wingless emu? what if flowers boycotted blooming to protest the conditions of the dirt clod?

what if the Sun itself shrouded its radiant light? the world would grow cold & feverish like I am now martyred by your bleeding heart for the world

Karen, love is the only victory I want to help you embrace the world but I want you to start with ME!

——

Ludmilla Popvich

you should kiss me because I’m the only guy in this high school who can name the four major rivers of your native land - Vistula, Oder, Warta & Bug - I memorized every damn thing about Poland so I could comfort you when you were homesick

Ludmilla Popovich you should let me take off your Disneyland t-shirt because you’re a foreign exchange student & I’ll be a cultural experience if we have fun we can sing “It’s a Small World After All” together

Ludmilla Popovich three of my uncles died fighting in World War II to liberate your nation I’m not trying to manipulate you, but - if you hugged me you’d be thanking them, too

Ludmilla Popovich your land has often been invaded, partitioned, and conquered but I am weak before you - feeble, supine I surrender my turf - my geography seeks your administration

Ludmilla Popovich I will be your slave boy if you will be my Slav girl I will die if I can’t paw your lovely bosom from Warsaw

Ludmilla Popovich we should absolutely do it because I talk all the time during sex & you still need to practice your English

—-

Lament of the Circumcised Man

when I was a baby, three days old the doctor took his steel scapel, bright and cold he grabbed my little weenie, he held it in his hand he said,”get ready, Junior, I’m going to make you a man”

I looked at him with innocent, trusting eyes he said, “are you prepared to be circumcised?” he pulled my loose flesh forward, he squeezed it in a pinch he saw my foreskin waiting there, three quarters of an inch

above my crotch he held the knife slowly he began to slice blood squirted on my nose and chin, blood squirted in my eye blood dripped from my severed member and I began to cry

“where oh where is my dear Mama? to rescue me from my first trauma? Where oh where is my dear Dad? doesn’t he know this makes me sad?”

its a thing that baby boys go through - a modern operation penis mutilation

anyway the years went by, with my tip shaped like an acorn I forgot that it looked different from when I was first born I thought it was the right aesthetic, I thought that it was cool ’cause it looked like any other dick in my gym class at high school

but then, one day after basketball practice, I was taking a leak someone was standing next to me, I had to take a peek startled, I stared! it was the transfer student from Berlin I saw between his legs… a wrinkled foreskin

“where’d you get that thing?” I asked him he told me European guys remain what he called intact the same, he said, is true, all over the world, only Americans and Jews - get hacked

well… I stared at his foreskin with curiosity and I began to wonder, why’d this happen to me? why’d my parents pay to have this surgery done? if I still had a foreskin… I might be having fun!

Like.. inside that slippery hood I’d hide, dollar bills and silly things or maybe I would get it pierced, I’d wear a penis ear ring perhaps I’d pull the loose flesh forward, I’d tie a ribbon around the end it’d be the perfect present for a sexy friend

but now I can’t do that because I never got the chance to decide what kind of penis I could wear inside my pants

Mom and Dad, if you give birth to a bit of screaming meat you don’t chop off the ears and tongue, the chubby hands and feet but yet, you did not hesitate, you left me screaming, hurt, in shock you paid a doctor fifty dollars to decapitate my cock

If I ever have a baby, a little tiny man, like me I won’t play games with flesh I won’t let a surgeon mess with the shape of his weenie

he can keep the organ he was born with that nature gave him to enjoy I would not amputate the foreskin of a helpless baby boy

——

Ken and Barbie's First Date

Ken and Barbie went bird-watching in a National Park Ken peered through his binoculars, he saw a crested lark

Barbie's thinking, "I really really want to kiss this geeky ornithologist!"

Ken says, "over there, in the lake, below the moon is that an osprey, or a loon?"

Barbie stares at his tight ass she decides, "I'm gonna make a pass!"

Ken says, "in the cypress, do you hear the snicker of the grey sap-sucking flicker?"

Barbie decides "I"m gonna get bolder!" she puts her arm around his shoulder

Ken says, "what's going on? do you wanna dance?" Barbie says, "NO!" she rips off his pants

Ken says, "Okay!" he takes off her skirt then they take off Kenny's shirt. Next, Barbie's blouse and underwear soon the both of them are bare

Ken picks up Barbie in his arms, a hill of flowers is their bed Barbie whispers, "I like it soft and slow..." — Ken ignores what she said

Ken skipped the foreplay, yes he did — He skipped the nibbles and the strokes He did not do the cuddling, the laughs and silly jokes Ken was impatient, over-eager He held her in his arms and shoved his twig into her beaver

Thirty seconds, then release Ken's pleasure was very brief Now he's twitching, melancholy He came too quickly, oh! what folly!

Barbie now she says to him: "You had your fun, you shot your sperm now concentrate, 'cause its my turn please be gentle, don't be rough I want you to lick my muff"

Okay, Ken spent five minutes, he spent ten He rolled her over and tried again Fifteen minutes, then twenty-two his jaws, they slobbered, smacked and chewed thirty minutes, than forty-five! Ken was drowning between her thighs His fingers ached, his mouth is strained his tongue is cramped with terrible pain Barbie lay there half-asleep, polite Ken munched on her all through the night

The sun came up and Barbie said: "Pay attention, sleepy-head! You had your silly climax, I ask you, where is mine? You're impatient, like all boys, you've got to take your time!"

Ken begged her, "Barbie, please give me a clue tell me how to stimulate you"

Barbie now remarks: "My clitoris is really quite petite to locate it at all is really quite a feat Men have died of hunger, men have died of shame several lovers went insane Hundreds have tried but all have failed no man has ever made me wail"

"That sounds like a challenge!" Ken hissed into her face "I will find that little demon, and I will have a taste! I'm not at all fatigued, I'm feeling at my peak I will find your small clitoris if it takes me half a week!"

Headfirst he dove into the brush Methodical, he did not rush he explores her inch by inch Barbie does not squirm, she does not flinch Ken wandered up her valleys, he explored downstream in and out her crevices, you know exactly what I mean

He poked her here and there he probed her everywhere the female organ should be something you just can't miss But Barbie? After three days there was still no clitoris

Ken was starving by this time, he was almost blind Barbie now remarked, "It's not impossible to find... but it would be easier I think, with a powerful telescope with that you'd have a chance, you'd have a glimmer of some hope"

"A telescope?" Ken wondered, "What about binoculars? The ones I use to admire the hovering vultures?"

"Great idea!" Barbie whispered, as Ken renewed the hunt. Once again he slowly scanned her open... beep!

There at last he found it, like a diamond in the rough A microscopic clitoris in the middle of her puff with his little finger he touched the tiny spot it was boiling, steaming, it was extremely hot

Barbie's legs began to twitch, her stomach began to spasm could this be, Ken wondered, the beginning of orgasm? yes, it was! It was! At last! It happened now, extremely fast! After struggling together ninety hours, plus three Ken finally consumated his first date with Barbie

The moral of this gentle poem: Everyone is different, no two are quite the same if something is uncomfortable, don't accuse or blame please don't make any body feel shame

Talk the situation through find out what you need to do there's a solution if your love is true

thank you

——

HAPPY UNTIL WE’RE DEAD (duet with old Ken & old Barbie)

[Old Ken] My wife is growing cellulite / It’s crawling down her legs

[Old Barbie] My husband, he’s got hemorrhoids / They’re bubbling out of his ass

[Old Ken] Her skin was once as smooth as cream / But now, it’s cottage cheese

[Old Barbie] His back is stiff, his mind is weak / He’s farting in his sleep

[Old Ken] Her butt looks like the moon / Enormous and dotted with craters

[Old Barbie] He’s blind, he’s deaf, he’s crippled / But he still wants to drive

[Together] We’ve had a long and wretched life Full of horrible stress and strife Despair and Agony our only friends We’re so relieved we’re near the end

[Old Ken] I wrote my will, I bought my grave

[Old Barbie] Let’s spend the money we have saved

[Chorus - Together] Let’s be happy! Let’s be happy now Let’s be happy instead of sad Let’s be happy we’re fed Let’s be happy in bed Let’s be happy until we’re dead!

[Old Ken] Civilization is beginning to smell

[Old Barbie] We’ll soon escape this living hell

[Old Ken] I need a bypass for my heart

[Old Barbie] I can’t find a place to park!

[Old Ken] We worry about senility, we worry about disease

[Old Barbie] We worry about anything we damn well please!

[Old Ken] But the future is not our concern

[Old Barbie] We’ll be hiding in our coffins…

[Old Ken] Eaten by worms!

[Old Barbie] Let’s be happy in the head

[Old Ken] Let’s be happy in bed

[Both] Let’s be happy until we’re dead!

[Old Barbie] Take me to the mortuary

[Old Ken] Take me to the cemetery

[Old Barbie] Bury us together

[Old Ken] Are you happy?

[Old Barbie] Yes

[Old Ken] I am happy, too

[Old Barbie] I am happy with you

[Both] Let’s be happy! Let’s be happy now Let’s be happy instead of sad Let’s be happy we’re fed Let’s be happy in bed Let’s be happy until we’re dead!

Let’s be happy, let’s be happy Let’s be happy Let’s be happy Let’s be happy until we’re dead!

—————-

Deadbeat Dad in a Saffron Toga

Buddha Buddha Buddha Dude You did something very rude
You abandoned Yashodhara, your hot lactating wife
Because you wanted enlightenment, more than family life You also left Rahula, your newborn only son
‘Cause you thought navel-gazing would be much more fun

you were a DEADBEAT DAD IN A SAFFRON TOGA! GONE GAUTAMA DOING YOGA!

You snuck out of your castle
'Cause family life's a hassle
You became a holy guru
You avoided dirty diapers with the stinky boo-boo

But me - what about me? I did the Daddy duty! I stay home! As a father I suffer! and I fear I will never recover!

Buddha, Buddha, here's my gripe
About you getting all the hype You got sacred peace and bliss
while I slept in puddles of infant piss You get your Nirvana
While my baby barfs up on my neck
Green peas and banana

It’s not fair! It’s not fair

BUDDHA BUDDHA BUDDHA DUDE DEADBEAT DAD IN A SAFFRON TOGA! GONE GAUTAMA DOING YOGA!

Buddha you are idolized You got 30 million hits on Google but I - I - I lost 1,000 nights of sleep, now my brain's a rotten noodle

Buddha, you’re a Slacker-Pappy, you’re a quitter And now - you’re famous, and I am bitter!