————Anarchy Cabaret—————————————
Homeless Barbie & Ken Want to Eat The Rich (first B & K)
This is a puppet show with Barbie and Ken dolls. audience will sing-a-long in the chorus.
Barbie and Ken are homeless people, dressed in plastic bags
Barbie: I am homeless, hungry Ken: I am homeless, hungry, too Barbie: Do you know what we should do? Ken: Yes, I do…LET'S EAT EAT EAT THE RICH Barbie: Yes! OLIGARCHY BARBECUE Ken: PLUTOCRATS IN A STEW
(REPEAT WITH AUDIENCE)
Barbie: Let's eat the rich with mayonnaise
Ken: with humus or with pesto
Barbie: Let's eat billionaires with tartar sauce Ken: Is this a manifesto?
Barbie: Let's gobble up the tech tycoons
Ken: Boiled, baked or barbecued
Barbie: All their muscles, fat and marrow
Ken: What's left over is cat food
Barbie: LET’S EAT EAT EAT THE RICH Ken: Let’s eat the Rich Barbie: Let’s eat the Rich
(REPEAT WITH AUDIENCE)
Ken: Pass the fork and pass the knife Barbie: Let’s eat Jeff Bezos and his wife
Ken: There are three thousand billionaires, Two hundred fifty tons of greedy meat
Flanks and steaks and loins and ribs, Six thousand pickled feet
Barbie: A billion people are hungry, Every day of every year
Let’s feed them first and then we'll watch, Dogs gnawing on dried ears
Ken: LET’S EAT THE RICH Barbie: LET’S EAT THE RICH Ken: OLIGARCHY BARBECUE Barbie: PLUTOCRATS IN A STEW
(REPEAT WITH AUDIENCE)
Ken: Pass the napkins pass the plates Barbie: Teriyaki slices of Bill Gates
Ken: You can't say we didn't warn 'em, "Eat The Rich" has been on signs
Ever since the Queen of France Suggested cake in 1789
Barbie: Take your boss to lunch on Monday and serve him to the workers
Gobbling CEOs on Tuesday
Would very much amuse me
Ken: Landlord meat is high in protein Tasty with rice and beans
Barbie: Oligarchs like great white sharks Are best eaten grilled, in public parks
Ken: Devour them! the ultra-rich Barbie: Should NOT exist, they’re poisonous Ken: Unless they’re cooked completely Barbie: & served inside a dish
Ken: LET’S EAT EAT EAT THE RICH
(REPEAT WITH AUDIENCE)
Barbie: Let’s use the special silverware When we carve up Elon Musk, the trillionaire
Ken: LET'S EAT THE RICH!
Barbie: LET’S EAT THE RICH Ken: OLIGARCHY BARBECUE Barbie: PLUTOCRATS IN A STEW
Ken and Barbie’s Woke Dilemma (second B & K)
Ken and Barbie want to protest the US fascist government But in preparing for a rally they both got hesitant
“Excuse me, Barbie” said Ken in his masculine voice “Your Givenchy jacket is elitist… can you make a better choice?”
“Yes, you’re right,” said Barbie in her feminine twang “I’ll leave it here, I’ll just be cold; I don’t own a proletariat brand.”
Barbie now said: “Ken, your coat Is from a sweatshop in Pakistan You can’t wear it at this rally; put it in a garbage can”
“You’re correct” said Ken, “I will take it off right now But don’t you think your leather boots suggest… you massacred a cow?”
“You’re quite right,” said Barbie, “I’ll pull them off, I will not tarry But— Ken - your camo shorts - are very military”
“You’re correct,” said Ken, removing them. He stood in underpants and shirt “But Barbie,” he suggested, “It’s violent and speciest for you to wear that Leopard shirt and Zebra skirt”
Barbie disrobed and said “Dear Ken, your hypocrisy has a foul smell… That shirt you’re wearing is Zionist, the brand supports Israel”
They stood there, their skins near clear, just two panties, one brassiere
Ken said, “it is my turn again to be firm - Our undies were created by enslaved silk worms”
Off these garments came, Ken and Barbie don’t want to be rude So now they are … completely nude
“We’re ready now,” said Barbie, “to go and virtue signal”
“I’m not so sure” said Ken, “we both shaved our public hair - that will trigger someone, sometime, somewhere”
“No No No” said Barbie, “We’re as morally decent as can be. We must march, wave signs and do the chants Even though, we wear no underpants.”
Off they went, brave citizens, Ken and Barbie’s rumps Went to cheer democracy and boo the evil Trump.
The moral of this educational poem is - don’t worry about your clothes or hair Don’t delay for silly reasons, just get your butt out there
The Anarchist’s Vomit
This is a slide show that’s been shown numerous times, even in Mexico City and Prague (Czech Republic). It’s always been very well-received, getting nice reviews like the one below:
“everything that is wonderful about dada is evident in Hank Hyena’s brilliant baby-doll short, Anarchist’s Vomit, about an Italian peasant who will do as he pleases or retch in your face” — San Francisco Weekly
For this event, I will present it as 60 large photo-images that are rolled out on hand-held device.
Barbie’s Escape (Third B & K)
Barbie: Kenny, dearest, I have a question, please? Ken: Lemme have it, Barbs, what’s on your little mind? Barbie: Ken, are we better than other people? Are we exceptional? Ken: Of course, Barbie. We’re superior. We’re celebrities! Famous! We might be the Best! Barbie: Is it good to believe that? To see ourselves as special? Ken: What’s wrong with you, Barbie? Are you eating too much? Barbie: I just don’t know, really, I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know. Ken: I’m hearing you say ‘I don’t know.” Am I paraphrasing correctly? Barbie: Yes, Ken, you’re sensitive. Ken: OK Barbie: I just think sometimes, I want to be an egalitarian advocate of horizontalism. Ken: Whoa! Those big words for a tiny waist and skinny neck. Barbie: You are mean! Ken: (to audience) Actually, I am envious! And I worry - This might be the end of us! If Barbie gets an actual mind she will leave her silly Ken behind! Barbie: I am wondering, I am considering, what if everyone was the same, what if we all had equal value? Ken: But we’re not, Blondie. People like us are chosen, we’re destined to be sexy and cool. We’re icons, epic, gods and goddesses. Barbie: But Ken, I’n not comfortable with hierarchical thinking anymore. Ken: What the Frick have you been watching? Did you fall into some Commie YouTube rabbit hole? Barbie: I’m reading, Ken. Books. Ken: Books? No! No! WHY? Barbie: I’m going to drop out, Ken. I’m going to get fat, wear ugly clothes and live in a slum. Ken: Barbie, you can’t do that!!!! Barbie: Why not? And, there’s, something, else… Ken: What? What? Barbie: I Want to Help Other People. Ken: Barbie! You’re ridiculous! You already do that! Every girl wants to be you. You’re the model of perfection. Barbie: That’s the problem. If someone wants to be someone else, they can’t find out who they really are. Ken: What the fudge? What the fidge! What the freak? Barbie: I’ve been reading Anarchism, Emma Goldman. Ken: Oh no! Red Emma! The Lithuanian lunatic! The pansexual pervert! Don’t go there! Barbie: I’m going to cut my hair, get tattoos, and sleep with women of color. Ken: We’re married! Barbie: I no longer recognize that institution. Ken: I will ask the President and the Pope to talk to you. Barbie: I do not acknowledge the nation-state and I reject all religion. Ken: It’s Emma’s fault. She’s brain-washed you, which is weird because you don’t have a brain. Barbie: Emma said I need to emancipate myself and I can love whoever I want. Ken: I’m going to kill myself. You’re so selfish. Look what you’ve done to me. I’m banging my head. (bangs head on the floor) Barbie: You just need a blowjob but it won’t be from me. Ken: I’m going to hari-kari myself. I mean it. Barbie: You can use my silver envelope-opener. I don’t need it anymore. I despise my fan mail I renounce my fan base. Ken: Thanks. Goodbye. (Ken commits bloody hari-kari) Barbie: I’m free at last. (to audience) I’m abdicating the Barbie throne, I’m exiling myself from the Kingdom of Mattel. And my parting words are FUCK THE PATRIARCHY!
Creating Your Utopia (collaborative exercise with audience)
Let’s IMagine You’re living in a Village of 500 people. AS A GROUp, You CAN Decide where IT IS and how to live in COMMUNITY.
First - What is Your ENvironment?
A Forest with a small stream? A Mountain Valley by a River?
A Marsh by the Ocean? A tropical island with a lake in the volcano?
WHAT IS YOUR COMMUNITY’S food system?
Everyone has their own garden? There is a communally owned garden and orchard? There is a farm scraper - everything is grown in glass-walled skyscraper? No agriculture, you are foragers that live next to a food forest?
WHAT ARE THE DWELLINGS PEOPLE LIVE IN?
People live in coops of 16 people? People live in flexible 4 story units? All 500 people live in one skyscraper so that the land around them can be wild or farmed? All 500 people live underground so the land above them can be wild or farmed?
What kind of transportation system does your utopia USE?
Walking and bicycles? Electric public underground transportation? Small boats in canals? Individual jet-packs to fly around in the sky?
WHAT ARE THE ELECTRONICS LIKE IN YOUR COMMUNITY
No wifi except in small designated areas? Wifi everywhere and people spend a lot of time in Virtual Reality? Wifi access and usage similar to present USA? Wifi only available 4 hours a day?
How Many Kitchens ARe there in Your Town?
Just one communal kitchen & dining area centrally located to serve everyone? Ten communal kitchens for each neighborhood of 40-75 people? Five communal kitchens, one each for omnivores, pescatarians, vegetarians, vegans, and those with special dietary needs? Every household has their own separate kitchen and dining area?
How many Bathrooms Are there in your town?
Just one bathroom with 40 toilets and a communal bathing area, centrally located to serve everyone? Ten communal bathrooms for each neighborhood of 40-75 people? Public individual toilets that are well-maintained and public hot-tubs everywhere and public showers? Every household has their own separate bathroom?
Government - how are civic decisions made in your village?
Town Hall meetings are held twice a week in a conveniently-located auditorium - majority vote determines the decision? Every neighborhood of 40-75 people is autonomous and can decide their own decision-making structure? There are twenty voting blocks of 20-30 people each that send representatives to a decision-making council? All voting is done on-line, no attendance anywhere is ever required, voters get 48 hours to make up their minds?
What institution is situated in the center of your village?
An education center with classrooms, a library, art, film rooms, and many quiet places to study? A techno-factory like a Maker Faire that employs residents and makes & repairs objects for both residents and trading partners? A recreation area with exercise equipment and sports fields for all age groups? There is no center; there are multiple “centers” that serve different purposes?
What religions exist in your ideal village?
Anybody can participate in and follow any religion they want to believe in? Any religion can exist as long as it is egalitarian and it accepts the value of other religions? The only religions that can exist are religions that are permitted by two-thirds majority of the residents? Religion is not allowed - everyone has to be secular humanist?
how are neighborhoods arranged in Your Village?
People are in neighborhoods based on their age group: parents with children, 18-29, 30-45, 45-65, 66+ ? People are in neighborhoods based on their social interests and political ideologies (like Burning Man) ? People are in neighborhoods based on their sexuality: gay, straight, trans, bi, asexual S & M, poly, etc.? People are thoroughly and randomly mixed together and they are free to move if they wish?
Do You Know the Assassinations? - Propaganda of the Deed?
I show photos of the people below who were either assassinated or nearly-assassinated - I ask the audience to guess who they are - I will provide hints. I will also show photos of the people who killed or tried to kill them.
Sadi Carnot - President of France Antonio Canovas Del Castillo - Prime Minister of Spain Elizabeth of Austria - Empress Umberto I - King of Italy William McKinley - President of the USA Peter Stolypin - Russian Prime Minister Jose Canalejas - Prime Minister of Spain Wilhelm I - King of Prussia Alfonso XIII - King of Spain Henry Clay Frick - USA tycoon
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What Are We Worth? (call & response)
Hank reads the regular type and audience reads the Bold Face.
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I want us all to fly like skylarks in their fantastic murmurations
I want us all to swim like sardines in ecstatic swirls
Moving in harmony with each other
Leaderless, Intuitive, Self-organizing, Collective Intelligence
What am I worth? What is my value?
What are we worth? What is our value?
Am I just a dollar sign? is my value the sum of my assets?
Is everyone only a dollar amount? The total of their portfolio?
Am I worthless if I am poor?
Are we a negative if we are in debt?
Is Elon Musk more valuable than the combined population of 80% of the earth?
Is any person more valuable or less valuable than any other person?
The skylarks are all equal in their joyful synchronicity
The sardines are egalitarian in their peaceful cohesion
Why do humans fly against each other? I want to live in a flock of skylarks
I want to be in a sardine tornado
Why is there competition instead of collaboration?
Why must there be leaders, followers, winners, losers, rich and poor?
I want everyone to thrive together
in the sky the earth the ocean
There is an economy that looks just like the lovely coordination of skylarks and sardines
What is that Economy called?
Gift Economy is an option to capitalism - Imagine waking up everyday to give your community exactly what you want to give
I’d be happy to do that I really would
Imagine your community providing you with whatever you needed for FREE
Food? Housing? Health? Education?
Imagine working motivated by compassion, not forced by desperation or lured by greed.
Every day would be like Christmas? Giving gifts and getting gifts?
Yes Yes Yes Imagine a world where “the economy” is just…
people taking care of each other?
Our lives would be governed by empathy.
I’d like to be a very good person.
Gift Economy is generated by service to others.
where can I find this?
Gift economy is far away and everywhere
Be specific give me directions
Gift economy operates in Samoa, Fiji, and the Cook Islands.
Those are very expensive airline tickets.
Gift economy existed in Native American tribes like the Haida, the Salish, the Tlingit.
Are they still alive?
Gratitude was given to individuals who gave the most to others. Hoarding was the worst offense.
Billionaires are hoarders. Wealth must be circulated.
We need to share.
Yes, We need to share.
We need to be active in our communities like the swirling birds and fish
Never colliding with each other, because we’re sensitive
Capitalism says we never have enough.
We gotta buy junk all the time to keep the markets going.
Capitalism turns human beings into sharks
We’re supposed to eat little fish
Capitalism, they tell us, is the law of the jungle
We’re supposed to be crocodiles, gobbling the weak
Community Potlucks are a display of gift economy.
Bring a dish to share with everyone
I want to eat a slice of Marjorie’s pie
I want to eat three of Joanna’s muffins
There are no homeless people in a gift economy
Vacant buildings are given to those who need a home
Gift Economy is everyone being kind to each other
Skylarks fly together in ever-changing cooperation
Sardines swirl in collective unison.
What we do everyday can make change happen
What we do everyday
Can make change happen
What am I worth?
We are worth what we give to others.
Are we just a dollar sign?
We are not just a dollar sign.
Are we worthless if we are poor?
We are valuable when we help people feel empathy. This makes them human.
Is any person more valuable or less valuable than any other person?
No they are not.
I want us all to fly like skylarks in their murmurations
I want us all to swim like sardines in their ecstatic swirls
Moving in harmony with each other
Leaderless, Intuitive, Self-organizing, Collective Intelligence